So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
