Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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