i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
