I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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