OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
