Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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