So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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