Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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