His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
