At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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