it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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