remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
