My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
