i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
