I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
