i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
