i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
