Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
