Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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