so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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