it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
