So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
