I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dick very happy bro
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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