Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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