I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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