so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize