ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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