we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
3 2 1 whiskey
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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