cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
