Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She's JV to your varsity
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
