Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
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