Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What drink are we having for lunch?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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