Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Where is the hickey?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
