bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
