Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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