nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
