Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
