Its about making memories worth repressing
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
