he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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