Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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