ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
