I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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