In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I lost the right to judge tonight
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
