problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
