I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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