Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
