I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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