Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if only i could text you this smell
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
