you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
