I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
