I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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