We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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