Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
