Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
