dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
