She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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