carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
