i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
