how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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