Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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