oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
