To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
