the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
